Should I wear a Disclaimer or Defective Badge?

I have been feeling lately as if people are judging me by the way I look. My hair is thinning in places, I have fair that grows from my chin & I am fat. These are only the things that they can see on the outside. No one can see the issues my body is going through on the inside. No one knows how hard I struggle and hate the way I look. I know if you are reading this then you are saying if this is the issue then fix it. But it's not 100% fixable for me. I have a disease, one that a lot of people don't understand or even know that in addition to having infertility issues there are so many other health problems and little quirks that go hand and hand with my disease. My Disease is called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I struggle with this disease and have every day since I was 11, when I was blessed with my cycle. I didn't know it though until 1999 or 2000. I went through years of not knowing what was wrong with me, why I couldn't do that simple thing of giving a child to my husband. People star at me, their looks tell me everything that they are thinking. Lady loose weight. Lady take care of yourself. Lady quite being so lazy. Heck, I have actually had a family member tell me that I was Fat, Ugly and Lazy. This broke my heart. I don't want to be fat, I would give anything to have the body that Britney Spears (NO I DON'T CONDONE THIS LADY LIFE...I am just using her to make a statement...you will see what I mean as you read on) that the press and tabloids had the audacity to claim was a fat. LOL! Yeah right if that is fat then I am in HUGE trouble and no wonder why I keep feeling like people are judging me for my weight. It is exteremly hard for a woman with PCOS to loose weight, so much so that my doctor told me she wouldn't put me on a diet. It would be more disasterous for my state of mind and mental well being because it would be so fustrating for me. She just said eat breakfast, get 30 mins of exercise a day and take care of yourself by taking your meds daily.

FACTS ABOUT PCOS: Is also known as Stein-Leventhal Syndrome or Polycystic Ovary Disease (PCOD). Affects an estimated 6-10% of all women and most don't even know they have it. Is treatable, but not curable, by medications, changes in diet (sometimes but not always..this depends on lots of other factors) and exercise. Is one of the leading causes of infertility in women. Has been identified for 75 years and they still aren't sure what causes it. Affects far more than just reproduction. IT IS NOT just a cosmetic problem. CAN INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING SYMPTOMS: Irregular or absent menses, Numerous cysts on the ovaries in many, but not all, cases, High blood pressure, High Cholesterol, Acne, Elevated insulin levels, Insulin Resistance, or Diabetes, Infertility, Excess hair on the face and body, Thinning of the scalp hair (alopecia), Weight Problems or obesity that is centered around your mid section

I feel like I need walk around with a huge badge on my chest or a tattoo on my forhead that states I AM DEFECTIVE, PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ME ON MY OUTSIDE APPEARANCE

Down for the count

Sorry I haven't been keeping up with this the past 2 weeks but I have been extremely sick. It started 2 Thursday's ago when I woke up with a sore throat. I thought it was just allergies so I didn't pay much attention to it. By night fall, I was running a temp of about 103 and had the chills bad. Saturday found me running over a 105 temp, so off to the ER we went. They said I was extremely dehydrated and needed to have an IV of fluids. I was told I had a Urinary Tract Infection and a Sinus Infection. I was sent home with antibiotics, thinking okay I will be great in a few days. Wrong, by Wednesday I was in to see my own Family Physician. They took chest x-rays. When she showed them to me I could see that my lungs were full of fluids and I am just a layman at this stuff. Diagnosis, Walking Pneumonia. Trust me I would never wish this or any form of Pneumonia on my worst enemy. It is awful. So I was prescribed a 2nd antibiotics, still had to take the first ones because they were for the UTI and the new ones wouldn't help with that. The timing for this sucked, I was suppose to go get Regan the first Friday that I was sick but of course not wanting to get her sick postponed that. So now I will get her this Friday but she will only be able to stay for 1 1/2 weeks and not 2 now. I feel so bad. At least I am starting to feel better. Praying for no relapses, trying to take it easy but get the house back in order before I go get her Friday.

Can You Spell Pitiful??

Well it is official, Edward has his very first ear infection. He has been so pitiful all day, bless his heart. We had to skip his swimming lessons this morning, I was so afraid that he had gotten Swimmers Ear and that is why he had woken up this morning crying that his ear hurt. I of course took him to his doctor as soon as they could get us in, which ended up being at the same time as his swimming lessons would have been this morning. She told me it wasn't do to Swimmers Ear, that it was an actual infection of the ear itself. Poor thing, I feel so bad for him. Hopefully this is the only one he will have to endure. She put him on Pain Ear Drops, Amoxicillin and Motrin. I bought some ear pillows for him to use next week during swimming lessons, too keep the water out of his ears....so as not to make the issue worse for him.